


Raging gay homophobe

by alicesprings



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Clubbing, Crack, M/M, Post-Season/Series 10, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:16:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27127091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicesprings/pseuds/alicesprings
Summary: ‘Zuzanna doesn’t hate gays. It’s her husband, Rudy. Turns out Rudy’s gayer than Liberace. The old Polish bastard was a raging gay homophobe.’‘Aren’t all homophobes gay?’‘Probably so, son. Probably so.’Ian and Mickey go clubbing and run into someone unexpected.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 9
Kudos: 95





	Raging gay homophobe

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies in advance

When lockdown finally ends, and the bars and clubs reopen, Mickey is so goddamn bored out of his mind that Ian manages to convince him to go dancing in Boystown. Ian knows Mickey hates dancing, and he hates clubs. They make him feel out of place, like his clothes aren’t right, or his hair, or his tattoos. But at least it’s not the club Ian used to dance at – there’s no way in hell either of them would ever set foot back in there. It’s some other place they’ve never been to, and after Mickey downs two shots at the bar Ian leads him onto the dancefloor and plasters his body up against Mickey’s, forcing him to move in rhythm with Ian. After a while, he feels Mickey relax, knows he’s stopped thinking about anything and they let the lights and the music and the energy of the crowd pulsing all around them wash over them. Ian is so happy that Mickey agreed to come that he only stops smiling long enough to intermittently attach his mouth to Mickey’s neck, giving him a series of sucking kisses that, along with their groins grinding together, have him feeling lightheaded and happy and horny and completely in love with his husband. Ian can’t stop touching Mickey, trailing his fingers up and down his arms, buffer than they’ve ever been due to all the weights he lifted while they were in lockdown. They draw plenty of admiring looks and the heated gazes add to the heat building between them. When Ian’s grown uncomfortably hard in his too tight jeans, he drags Mickey off the dance floor and heads towards the exit. As they burst out into the night, Ian plasters himself against Mickey’s back, his arms tight around his torso and his mouth back on Mickey’ neck.

‘Wanna bang in the alley?’ Ian whispers into his ear. ‘Be like old times sake.’

‘Fuck yeah,’ Mickey says, reaching a hand back between them to rub Ian’s dick through his jeans.

They head for a side alley and Ian kisses Mickey deeply before turning him around pressing him against the wall. Further down the alley, half lit by the streetlight is another couple going at it. Their faces are in shadow but they can hear moans and the sound of flesh slapping together and it adds to their hunger, both of them hurriedly lowering their pants and underwear just enough while Ian quickly presses a lubed finger inside Mickey for a quick prep.

The sounds coming from the other couple increase in volume and then they hear ‘Ooh that’s it, daddy.’

Ian smothers a laugh into the back of Mickey’s neck. Mickey doesn’t bother hiding his, letting out a guffaw. 

‘You like that, boy?’ a gruff voice growls.

‘Mm yes daddy, feels so good.’

Ian’s shoulders are shaking in silent laughter, their own fuck temporarily forgotten as they listen to the awful dirty talk coming from the other couple.

‘You take it good, boy,’ the gruff voice says, ‘nice, tight ass.’

Something about the voice makes the hair on Ian’s neck stand up. He feels Mickey go stiff.

‘Fuck yes, daddy!’

‘Dad?’ Mickey says.

Ian pulls back. ‘Terry?’ 

Just then, the couple shifts into the light and they see that it is indeed, currently balls deep inside a twink, Terry Milkovich.

‘Oh my god,’ Mickey says.

‘Oh my god,’ says Ian.

‘Oh my god,’ says Terry.

‘Oh my god, yes’, squeals the clueless twink.

Terry roughly pushes him off, hurriedly tucking himself away while Ian and Mickey do the same.

‘Hey, what’s going on?’ asks the clueless twink, just as Terry pulls out a gun and aims it at them.

‘Aw, fuck,’ says Mickey, as the twink takes the opportunity to shriek and run off.

Terry aims the gun at Mickey, then moves it to Ian, then back to Mickey. He hasn’t said a word and judging by Mickey’s silence, he also doesn’t seem to know what to say. Ian has never seen Terry look so clean. He’s wearing a nice button-down shirt which covers up all of his offensive tattoos, his jeans don't have holes in them, and his hair is neatly combed. It’s so disconcerting Ian’s temporarily dumbfounded, but there is currently a gun aimed at his husband, so he clears his throat, drawing Terry’s attention, and aim, back to him. He holds his hands up placatingly. ‘So,’ he starts. ‘This doesn’t have to turn into anything.’

Mickey snorts beside him and Terry, looking shifty as fuck, aims the gun back at Mickey. 

‘Hey,’ Ian says, drawing Terry’s attention back. ‘There’s CCTV cameras everywhere around here.’ Ian points back to the street. ‘You’re on camera and a hundred witnesses saw us inside.’ 

Terry’s eyes narrow. ‘Gay Jesus, remember,’ says Ian, pointing at himself. ‘Trust me, people noticed us. You shoot us you’re gonna be locked up for good next time, the cops won’t even have to try very hard to make you for it.’

Terry seems to be taking this in. His gaze still shifting between them, his finger tense on the trigger. 

‘We never saw you,’ Ian says. ‘We weren’t even here tonight. In fact, we will never be here, at this club, or in this alley, ever again. Right, Mick?’

Ian glances at Mickey and sees him open his mouth, the smartass look on his face leaves Ian in no doubt he’s about to say something that could turn Ian into a widower, and he is _not_ into that shit happening, so he repeats, ‘Right, Mick?’ and jabs him with a a sharp elbow to reiterate his point.

‘Right,’ Mickey says. ‘We’re outta here. We didn’t see nothing.’

They start slowly walking backwards, Ian with his hands still up, until they’re back on the street and Terry is still standing halfway down the alley, having not said a word, still pointing the gun at them. Ian grabs Mickey by the arm and yanks him away, out of Terry’s sight, and breaths out a sigh of relief as they get the fuck out of there.

*

Back at the house they sit at the kitchen table, a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses between them. Ian pours them both another shot and they down them. They haven’t spoken since they got home. Mickey keeps opening his mouth, then closing it, and Ian doesn’t know what the fuck to say either, it’s just all too much to comprehend. Mickey opens his mouth, then closes it again, snatching the bottle and pouring them another shot. ‘I don’t think I can ever have sex again,’ he finally says.

Ian shudders, picturing Terry mid-coitus, an image unfortunately burned into his retinas. ‘Me either.’

‘You good with a sexless marriage?’

‘Sounds great to me,’ says Ian, clinking their glasses together before they down them.

*

It’s been four days since the Incident Which They Do Not Speak Of. Ian and Mickey have not had sex. In fact, apart from chaste cheek kisses goodnight, they haven’t even touched each other. Neither of them are horny and it’s fucking weird. Ian hasn’t gone four days without getting a boner since he was on meds the first time. It’s not a good feeling. On the plus side, they haven’t seen hide nor hair of Terry in the neighborhood. Ian figures if he was going to come after them he would have by now, so hopes this means that he’ll keep out of their lives from now on. Ian is so fucking good with that plan.

‘Fuck this,’ he says that night, as he and Mickey lay in bed, two feet of space between them.

‘What?’

‘Fuck him,’ Ian says, without saying his name. ‘And fuck this. So he's gay, whatever. He’s ruined too many things for us in the past and I’m not letting him ruin this too. We are going to have sex goddamnit, and we’re going to like it!’

‘Eh, I don’t know, man,’ Mickey says. ‘I’m not really in the mood.’

‘Neither am I! But we’re going to do it anyway.’

Mickey lets out a sigh and rubs his forehead with two fingers. ‘Fine, get on me.’

Ian shuffles closer, then shifts onto his side, throwing his leg over Mickeys and placing a tentative hand on Mickey’s chest, gently stroking his fingers against Mickey’s soft tank top. Slowly, he bends his head towards Mickey’s face, silently asking for a kiss. Mickey tentatively brings a hand up to wrap around Ian's neck and then brings his lips up to Ian’s and they exchange a soft, sweet kiss. They smile at each other, then go in for a deeper kiss, passion reigniting between them after too many days apart. Ian’s hand trails down Mickey’s chest, then slips inside his boxers, stroking him as he grows hard for the first time in days. 

Mickey sighs into Ian’s mouth as their kiss breaks, his body heating up and responding to the stimulation while Ian trails his lips down Mickey’s neck, kissing and nipping at it while his hand continues to work Mickey to full hardness. And then, because he just can’t help himself, he whispers, ‘you like that, daddy?’

The punch to his arm is worth it, even when he’s shoved back and falls off the bed. He’s cackling as Mickey kneels on the bed, glaring down at him on the floor, before he bursts out laughing too. ‘You’re a fucking dick,’ he says.

Ian climbs back on the bed, tackling Mickey and then stretching out on top of him, covering him from head to toe and lining their bodies up to rub against each other in the most delicious way. Their laughter trails away while Ian nuzzles into Mickey briefly before pulling back to look into Mickey’s eyes. ‘I love you,’ he says. ‘He’s done messing with us. We’re gonna forget we ever saw a thing, and we’re gonna be fucking happy, okay?’

‘Yeah, okay, Gallagher,’ Mickey says, pulling him down into a kiss. 

And they were.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry that my first Shameless fic involves Terry. Trust me, I hate him, but that stupid line in episode 10x12 makes me think this is what the show is going for in season 11, so once the idea got stuck in my head I had to subject you all to it as well.
> 
> Oh, I'm on Tumblr: https://ellismuse.tumblr.com/


End file.
